Cat from Hell or Homicidal Feline?
Sometime after my new family relocated to their apartment on the other side of town, there was a tiny knock at our front door. There stood a young boy holding a newborn kitten. Speaking in Spanish which I don't understand unless it's something like, "more cold beer please" I figured out the child found the kitten and his parents wouldn't allow him to keep it. Note: a neighbor translated for me! Well anyway we took the kitten in, cleaned her up and named her "Bitty". "Bitty" grew into a charming adult cat who provided a constant form of love, happiness and entertainment. However: for no apparent reason things began to change and life with Bitty became a little Batty. I won't come right out and say "Bitty" attempted to murder me on three separate occasions so I'll let you be the judge? While leaving the house for work one morning "Bitty" just so happened to place her front paw out in front of me as I stepped down from the front door. Loosing my footing I fell down 4 front steps rolling on the front lawn will only minor injuries? Secondly she pushed me off the back porch while I was leading the PG&E man to check our water heater. Thankfully I landed on my well cushioned Twinkie filled backside so ricocheting off the Gas Grill was only slightly painful. And now the last straw, while showering one morning I heard the bathroom door open so I called out to Misses, "Good Morning Angel". After not receiving a answer back I poked my head out of the shower stall only to see "Bitty" dragging the wife's curling iron toward me, plugged in? Something had to be done immediately, but what? pray to Saint Francis? call for a cat exorcist? is this all just my imagination gone wild? Thinking fast I remember some holy water blessed by the church left over from my previous backyard burial episode. Pouring the contents into a spray bottle I blasted "Bitty" several times saying something like, "Demons be gone"? well, it sounded good! I'd like to say it worked and for the remainder of "Bitty's" long life she discontinued any further attempts on my life. "Bitty's" gone now and hopefully she's in heaven waiting for me? Well was there a reason for her murderous behavior, a right of passage to start life number two? I don't know and maybe it's better I don't?
