Raccoon Road Rage?

Raccoon Road Rage? Wildlife has always been a big part of my job and the opportunity to play a role in anyway was  a honor. With a excellent Wildlife staff combined with  tiredness and devoted volunteers they can’t be thanked enough. But the day I met “Racer the Raccoon” probably not his real name but it works for the story? I wondered if people are really reincarnated to a animal of their choosing in the next world? Alright I’m getting a little Coast to Coast on you but here goes.  A citizen residing in Belmont rented a cat trap from our animal shelter in a effort to catch a feral tom cat he wished to be neutered, its safe to say it wasn’t a mutual agreement? With written instructions regarding the most successful methods and time periods to trap. In addition in bold letters it states not to trap at night with wildlife the most likely candidate. Our Belmont resident failed to comply resulting in a captured and very angry raccoon. Citizen Belmont was quick  to learn that setting the trap near his cable TV and telephone wires were just asking for trouble and Racer thanked him by pulling the cables in the trap and biting them into several small pieces. Racer also didn’t like color of the bed sheet Citizen Belmont used to cover the trap, probably preferring silk. To show his displeasure Racer pulled the entire sheet inside the trap and used it as a personal port a potty? When I got there little Racer was working real hard at chewing his way out of that trap poising a real threat of injuring himself, so I quickly transferred him into a transfer cage and off we went to be relocated. Now I’m not the smartest guy on earth and thank God there still are some out there which Praise Jesus saved me at times from additional embarrassment and ridicule, however; I guess all the water boarding I got in Catholic school taught me to listen? Sometimes? Prior to becoming a one man show my Field Training Officer drilled into my sponge brain  the importance of always carrying a spare set of keys. In the heat of the battle you lose concentration, become distracted and misplace or leave equipment behind or in this case lock yourself out of the vehicle. Well, Racer and I didn’t have to travel far before I located a terrific place to release him. High towering Oak and Pine tree’s dotted the landscape and a with green thick cover of Manzanita with their red branches twisted skyward. And not far off was a wall of ripe blackberries their thorny veins reaching over a slow running stream faintly babbling in the distance nearby, this was raccoon heaven. I stood for a moment and took in the scenery and a part of me wished for just a instance it was me that would be released into this paradise, when the cracking voice of my dispatcher broke the silence snapping me back to reality. With the engine still running to generate the air conditioning throughout the entire truck from cab to kennels I opened the passengers door and jotted down another call. Now my attentions turned to Racer who snarled and growled from inside the kennel compartment sensing pending freedom. I carefully lifted his transfer cage out and pointed it toward those beautiful blackberries and slid open the door. To my surprise Racer didn’t budge so I gave the cage a slight nudge and out he sprang directly into the cab of the truck. Leaping onto the dash I heard the trunk drop into gear and as it lurched toward violently causing the passengers door to slam shut. Now Racer panicked and jumped up against the passenger’s window and unwittingly locking the door?  Because I had the vehicles emergency break partially engaged the truck idled slowly forward until it came to a abrupt  stop with the help of a large fallen oak branch. With my spare key I opened the drivers side door and out jumped Racer but not before depositing last nights can of fancy feast he had for dinner onto the drivers seat. With no damage to the truck and just a mess of what appeared to be sockeye salmon to clean up I was thankful of what just transpired didn‘t end tragically. And as for Racer despite his overactive bowels? Well,  his first driving lesson wasn’t his finest hour but that’s one raccoon that may still have a future in racing?